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Snort Dead Celebrity Ashes and Fix Global Warming

April 5th, 2007 · 2143 Comments



I just read the story about Keith Richards, and I don’t care what his publicists say, he totally snorted those ashes. I mean, I love the Stones, always have; and if Keith stated that he snorted his father’s ashes with some blow. He did.

I met Mick and Keith many years ago back stage at a Stones gig. One of my favorite celebrity encounters for sure. Keith must have really been close to dear old dad. Gives me a warm feeling. Really warm.

Keith Richards snorting Dad's ashes
Anyway, I started thinking about it some more. What do you get when you combine a dead celebrity, Ebay, a really hot fire, and a really hot party? A charity event, that’s what.

So what does a dead celebrity do when they’re dead anyway besides get on a lot of magazine covers? They get buried or cremated. What a waste. Why not parcel up dime bags of their ashes, sell them on Ebay and have the proceeds go to global warming or some such cause. Al Gore has gotta love this idea. It might be in his next campaign or DVD.

I mean there has got to be boatloads of fans out there that would love to snort a bit of Keith with their next 8 Ball while Exile on Main Street is playing. And for a good cause none the less. This is a new cottage industry.

Or maybe a bit of Anna Nicole topping my Jack and Coke. Give me a double and chalk up another donation for Jerry’s Kids.

Here’s another benefit; the ashes are fat free. I mean this is low cal stuff. NutriSystems should get into the act. Would you pay $5.00 extra for your NutriNouish meal laced with a bit of Princess Di?

Once the star does the organ donating thing; do divas donate? Not sure, anyway, once they rip out whatever they rip out, they trash the rest so Make a Wish and mix it with your next dish.

We have a new list: Most desired ashes to mix with a fatty. Who’s on your list?

Keith Richard’s Kevo

Rane Aaron – Kevo Guest Blogger at large

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